The Insider.com

Say What!? Carol Brady Got Crabs!

June 27, 2011

Oh my! What would Alice say!?

In her new book Life is Not a Stage, Florence Henderson aka Carol Brady reportedly claims that she got crabs after having a wild one-night stand with the then-mayor of New York City, John Lindsay, during the 1960s. (Both are pictured here in the 1960s.)

In the memoir, " The Brady Bunch" matriarch reportedly tells a tale of succumbing to the mayor's advances over some drinks at the Beverly Hills Hotel sometime in the 1960s. And here's the real kicker: both of them were married! Say it isn't so!

The TV icon continues, "I was lonely. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. So, what did I do? I did it." Ooh somebody's a bad girl!

The self-admitted adulteress says that when she went home later that night, she woke up to "little black things" covering her body. She says she called her doctor who told her she had pubic lice. Gah! No, no, no! Make this image go away!

Flo' goes on to write, "Guess I learned the hard way that crabs do not discriminate but cross over all socioeconomic strata. He must have had quite the active life. What a way to put the kibosh on a relationship." Oh good thing it was those pesky crabs that stopped you from pursuing that new relationship and not the fact that you were both … MARRIED.

Oh Florence, why oh why did you have to go and taint the wholesome image of Carol Brady, arguably the greatest TV mom of all time! (If that lovable crime solver Jessica Fletcher had had kids, I’m positive she would have been the greatest TV mom of all time). Is nothing sacred to you woman!? Shaking your tatas on "Dancing with the Stars" is one thing, but sharing this grody info with the world is another!

All I know is that the Carol Brady in my mind's eye would have never done such dirty deeds. As far as I'm concerned, Carol Brady is still arm-in-arm with patriarch Mike, making peanut butter sandwiches in her modern minimalist kitchen and laughing right alongside Alice, Marcia, Greg, Bobby, Jan, Peter, Cindy and Tiger the dog.

I'd prefer to keep that image in my brain instead of the alternative of "little black things" all over Florence Henderson's hooha. I don’t remember seeing anything like that on TV Land! ­ ­

-Meg Swertlow