Brooke Hogan Talks Daddy Ass-Rubbing

Brooke Hogan doesn’t understand all the hoopla over the photos of her dad, 54-year old Hulk Hogan, rubbing tanning oil on her ass on a family vacation. Brooke told Us Weekly

“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like [Dad's] touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!”

And if that wasn’t disturbing enough — Daddy also likes to be on hand while she’s posing provocatively for ty men’s magazines. According to Fox News

Hulk Hogan turned up to [Brooke's] sexy magazine shoot for Maxim in April. [He said] that he came to supervise and ensure his baby girl didn’t flash too much flesh.

I can only think of a couple of instances where your father would need to touch your ass once you’ve entered adulthood. Ten instances, in fact. I made a handy list for you:

TOP TEN SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOUR FATHER TOUCHING YOUR ASS IS OKAY

10. You impaled yourself on an umbrella stand while at a Father-Daughter’s Day Picnic

9. You’ve passed out, and it’s the only part of you not covered in vomit and urine

8. There’s a bomb taped to your ass that requires dismantling before it can be safely removed

7. A genie offers to cure your mother’s cancer only if your Dad touches your ass

6. You’re the second tier and your father’s the base in a cheerleading pyramid

5. Father-Daughter ice-skating doubles competition

4. Terrorists

3. He’s legally blind and thought he was touching your face

2. There’s a horsefly the size of a kaiser roll on your ass and it’s going to bite you

and the number one situation in which it would be okay for your dad to touch your ass:

1. Johnny Depp is your father. Rowr!

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