Jessica Simpson Against Orphan Acne

During her trip on Sunday to the Casa Hogar Elim orphanage in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, Jessica Simpson donated a minivan that she had gotten for free. You know, out of the kindness of her heart and so she wouldn’t have to pay taxes on [it]. Jessica also brought the kiddies some… Pro Activ, the acne treatment she pimps out in those infomercials.

If there’s one plight Americans gloss over entirely, it’s orphan acne. It’s a serious problem. Not as serious as, say, tapeworms or rickets, but still a pretty big problem. I can’t tell you how many children I’ve seen hanging their heads in shame as they shuffled along in the orphanage lunch line, too embarrassed by their whiteheads to ask for a little more bread and gruel or a bowl without roaches in it. I hope this wakes you up. You need to stop frittering your money away on stuff like “immunizations” and “dental care” for the children, and start thinking about their need for clear skin and the confidence that accompanies a sparkling complexion.

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