America's Youth Soon To Experience The Psychedelic Effects Of A Syrup-Only Squishee For Themselves

America's Youth Soon To Experience The Psychedelic Effects Of A Syrup-Only Squishee For Themselves
If all goes according to plans recently unveiled at a corporate event, 11 lucky, chosen 7-11s across the U.S.A. will be transformed into living Kwik-E-Marts, the fictional Simpsons convenience store that belongs to Springfield's leading Squishee purveyor, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. The promotion is timed to coincide with the July release of The Simpsons Movie, the motion picture fans have patiently waited 18 years for the opportunity to call the "worst feature-length episode ever."

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee).

The chain also will use pictures of Simpsons characters to promote 7-Eleven's line of fresh foods, such as placing the face of Homer and his classic "Mmmm . . . sandwich" quip on sandwich wrappers.



The news was immediately met with the nerd-cheers of metropolitan Simpsons fans, who are presently salivating at the prospects of buying a pack of Laramie Menthols and a six-pack of Duff Ice, hoping they emerge with their wallets intact before the scheduled, hourly "Simpsons Hold-Up Spectacular" starring a hired Snake-a-like from central casting.
Published 3/27/07 by


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