'The Dark Knight' Erects Giant Pyramid Of Flammable Currency [Monday Morning Box Office]

How To Tell If You've Been Partying Too Hard: A Defamer Quiz
1. How many alcoholic drinks did you consume this weekend? Less Than 3 ( ) Between 3-7 ( ) More than 7 ( ) More than 150 ( )
2. Did you operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol? Yes ( ) No ( ) I can't remember ( )
3. Were you arrested? Yes ( ) No ( ) I have no comment at this time ( )
3B. If yes, what was the charge? Felony DUI ( ) Misdemeanor DUI ( ) Drugstore loitering ( ) Other ( )
4. Did you require surgery as a direct result of your drinking? Yes ( ) No ( ) Ow My Balls ( )
5. Did your partying directly or indirectly lead to the shutting down of production on a major studio tentpole? Yes ( ) No ( ) Back off. Gianter ing Robots Are Coming, OK? ( )

Scoring: There's no such thing as partying too hard; therefore, you haven't been. High five! Here's your box office numbers, brah:

1. The Dark Knight - $75.63 million
Have we grown tired of The Dark Knight yet? While MomzoGate gave off the faint whiff of shark-jumping, audience interest in Christopher Nolan's epochal tale of good vs. unwashed hair showed no signs of waning. Its total grosses for Warner Bros. now hover somewhere around an astounding $312 million—and that doesn't even include additional revenues derived from cross-promotions like The Dark Whopper, Australian Burger King's broodiest batburger yet! (Apparently they also flip a coin to see if you'll either get a free order of onion rings, or watch your first born son get his head shot off. Those Aussies aren't ing around with their Dark Knight tie-ins.)

2. Step Brothers - $30 million
The simple comedy arithmetic of double the imbecilic man-children = double the fun seems to have played itself out nicely for Sony's Step Brothers, as this heartwarming A Very Special Brady story took in a robust 30 mil, with four-out-of-five moviegoers rating it as "funnier the first time, when it was called Dumb and Dumber."

3. Mamma Mia! - $17.865 million
In a strange and beautiful accident of nature, a variety of aquatic mammals—small whales, manatees, and the like—have beached themselves outside the doors of theaters screening this ebullient ABBA-musical, drawn to the siren song of Pierce Brosnan's otherworldly vocal stylings. Fear not: They've been relocated to The Grove's dancing waters, where they seem to be perfectly happy surviving off any Cheesecake Factory leftovers tossed to them by visitors.

4. The X-Files: I Want to Believe - $10.2 million
Sadly, not every beloved franchise to return to the big screen after an extended absence was greeted with the enthusiasm of a Sex and the City, as the tepidly reviewed The X-Files: You Had Me Until The Anal-Probe Business failed to attract much more than the most ardent Scullyite fundamentalists.

5. Journey to the Center of the Earth - $9.415 million
At virtually any screening of this 3-D sci-fi spectacular, you'll see a crowd of delighted children in plastic glasses waving their hands out in front of their faces, attempting unsuccessfully to get a feel of Brendan Fraser's amazingly lifelike self-respect. It's like it's actually there!
Published 7/28/08 by


Defamer

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