Katie Holmes Gets Thuggy

Katie Holmes Gets Thuggy
Katie Holmes keeps reinventing herself here lately, presumably to conform to husband Tom Cruise’s bizarro closet-gay demands. First it was “pregnant and adoring wife.” Then “jet-setting fashionista.” I assume from those jeans she’s wearing that he’s into hip-hop now, although she should have really swapped that shrunken jacket for a Lakers jersey and a wave cap. I heard that the Cruises’ maid even found a tape from their honeymoon that showed Katie in an “outer space nubile pool boy” getup for their ever-so-romantic “sacred insemination and feigned copulation night.” The maid actually told me, “Déjeme decirle, eso Tom Cruise sabe utilizar un baster del pavo!” which means, “Let me tell you, that Tom Cruise knows how to work a turkey baster!” And then she made the sign of the cross and pointed at her . I don’t know exactly what that means, but you can bet your sweet tookas it’s perverse.

More of Katie leaving a costume-fitting after the jump.

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Published 4/6/07 by


Yeeeah!

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