Blow Up Your TV: Defamer Liveblogs the 2008 Emmy Awards [The Emmys]

8:52 Giving Tommy Smothers a 40-years belated Emmy for writing on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Steve Martin drops "perspicacious, multifarious and placatory" and about 90 percent of the viewing audience in a 10-second burst. Smothers himself loses the rest. But we're back now!

8:48 Jennifer Love-Hewitt and Hayden Panitierre present Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Program to... THE COLBERT REPORT. Shocker! Jon Stewart gets thanked but looks like he's caught on camera reaching for his flask.

8:43 Conan O'Brien: "I would have had better stuff tonight but Katherine Heigl wrote my material." Zing! Then he presents Supporting Actress in a drama ... who is... DIANNE WEIST.

8:36 Ricky Gervais busts Steve Carell's balls in the best bit of the night. Careful, Ricky — Ryan says they're enlarged! And for what it's worth, Louis Horivtz — yes, the Louis Horvitz — won the variety-show directing prize for this year's Oscars.

8:33 Wait — Jackée Harry won an Emmy? These montages are great.

8:26 The ladies of Desperate Housewives present Supporting Actor in a drama ... who is... ZELJKO IVANEK. We missed it, but more importantly: Did Eva Longoria know she'd only get literally six words in? She's a team player after all!

8:18 Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who is wearing a dress made of salmon scales, presents Supporting Actress in a comedy ... who is... JEAN SMART. 2 for 2.

8:11 Tina Fey and Amy Poehler present Supporting Actor in a comedy... who is... JEREMY PIVEN. Naturally he takes his bombed joke out on the hosts: "Thanks to the 11 of you who laughed. What If I just talked for 12 minutes. That would be the opening!" Really, Pivs, you can go the Heigl route any time now. PS: Defamer Emmy predictions are 1 for 1.

8:05 Jeff Probst: "We have absolutely nothing for you." And really, they don't. So who do they turn to? Who else: Bill Shatner. And we guarantee that was the first and last time he'll ever tear off a supermodel's clothes.

8:00 Are we the only ones who don't get the opening monta— OMGZ OPRAH!!

7:53 Aw! Christina Applegate is on hand, looking great and sounding great. That is all.

7:43 Kimmel's ABC special has an OK faux-interview with Salma Hayek, but the real action is back at the Twilight Zone of E!, where Giuliana Rancic points out that Bryan Cranston is the only actor to play both a crystal meth dealer and Frankie Muniz's father.

7:28 Lackluster as Tina Fey's Seacrest interlude was earlier, she's still got a highlight from the E! broadcast. Remember the timeshare Martin Scorsese pushed on her in that American Express spot a while back? Finally, the details!

7:19 Jeremy Piven finally showed up — no date(s) apparently, his Mom is "over it." Aren't. We. All.

7:15 Now here's some news: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were held up in a bomb scare. Ever the professional, Seacrest segues effortlessly into Housewives' five-year plot jump. Did we mention this award is his to lose?

7:05 "We're joined by the cast of Entourage..." But where is the Piv? Picking up his date(s)? Developing...

6:51 Breaking! Britney Spears wanted to come back to How I Met Your Mother when Sarah Chalke's storyline was reintroduced. Not so fast, alas — the producers will have to get back to her about that.

6:47 Are Seacrest and Steve Carell bonding over enlarged balls? They are! Is it 8 yet?

6:43 More breaking development news! Marcia Cross confirms there will be no Melrose Place revival.

6:39 How the other half lives: On TV Guide Channel, Lisa Rinna has back-to-back interviews with Tony Shalhoub and Zeljko Ivanek intercut with arrivals footage of... Phylicia Rashad.

6:32 That Tracy Morgan interview was the most boring 90 seconds of his career.

6:22 Jenna Fischer looks great, and now she's saying there's no Office spin-off at all — i.e. "cannibalizing the granddady," as Seacrest says. Not that, either, Fischer says.

6:14 Emmy ParentWatch continues! Seacrest shoves aside a weak Kathy Griffin for Rainn Wilson, who brings up his own old man for a chat. After the troubling disclosure about some Wilson/Jason Reitman reunion called Bonzai Shadowhands ("I play a drunk, down-and-out ninja"), a more scintillating update reveals they're holding off a year for the Office spin-off. And three weddings this year. Huh.

6:07 Because the world needs another Sandra Oh interview like it needs another Fey/Palin comparison, Seacrest brought her parents in for the Q&A — Mr. and Mrs. Oh from Ottawa. Fun fact: Her mother is a scientist!

6:00 OMG!!!! Finally — Seacrest, Klum, Bergeron, Mandel, and Probst, all together at once on E! This truly is the impossible dream, and Probst is going tie-less. Slob. Kiss the Best Reality TV Host prize goodbye.