Back From The Brink, Britney Wonders 'What The Hell Was I Thinking?' [Toxic No Longer]

We're not sure what precise incident Britney Spears would finger in identifying her definitive "rock-bottom moment"—there were just so many, they probably all blurred into a single, scarring memory of her bald, pantieless self attacking a hunky music video extra in a hot tub with an umbrella surrounded by a horrified VMAs audience as her swarthy paparazzo lover videotaped the erotic trainwreck from a safe distance. But we're happy to now report that there's good news. No—great news:

With the exception of a lingering headache involving an invalid driver's license, the singer's Troubled Past™ is quickly receding, like two children accidentally abandoned at a Malibu rest stop in the rear-view mirror of a convertible Mini Cooper.

Last November came the release of her shockingly well-written, well-produced, and well-performed album "Blackout"—a career-topper that, sadly, the singer could barely be bothered to throw her support behind, eventually requiring the use of a complex lever-and-pulley system just to the recreate the illusion of pole-dancing in its debut video. What a difference a year makes, then, as a VMAs-triumphant Spears is putting the final touches on her new album, "Circus," looking better than she has in several comebacks.

MTV has a 90-minute documentary set to air on the eve of the "Circus" release—punnily titled For the Record. In the preview clip above, a seemingly compos mentis Spears asks the question we've been longing to hear: "I'm a smart person, what the hell was I thinking?" We think it's a rhetorical question, but we'd be happy to offer our best guesses:

Barefoot in a roadside public restroom: "Oh, whatever, it's not like I'm going to be in there more than a few minutes."
Driving with an infant in her lap: "And this button sprays wiper fluid! Wheeee!"
Shaving her head: "But I do know Mandinka."
The crotch shots: "Bam! Say hello to Bergina Spears!"
The VMAs 2007 performance: "Hang in there, girl, it's almost over. Just do what the girl next to me is doing. Wait—that's a mirror."
Dating Adnan Ghalib: Sorry, we have no ing clue.
Published 10/10/08 by


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