John Mayer Uses Jennifer Aniston for Press

As if we didn’t know and it was some big secret that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were not at all interested in each other. It’s as simple as Mayer stays relevant as long as he remains connected with Aniston and she is simply after his baby batter.

The two were having “secret dates” and by “secret” he means don’t tell Jenny I called that paps to take pictures while I keep my name alive. While in New York Mayer gave her a booty call and of course the dumb bitch answered after the first ring. Then they decided to do up mile high style and hopped on a plane where witnessed reported kissing and hugging.

They just flew into Los Angeles together, landing at 4:05 Pacific Time on Monday, October, 13, The ENQUIRER has confirmed. “They were very lovey-dovey,” said an insider. “They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly. John gave her a long, lingering kiss.”

This story comes from the National Enquirer and makes me wonder if they have a microchip implanted in Mayer’s naughty bit and goes off every time he is bedding Aniston. Then I wonder who was put up to the task of implanting said microchip. Some poor intern had to sit around and wait for the roofies to take effect while John cried Patrick Dempsey’s hair being prettier.

[National Enquirer]

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