America's Next Top Model: "What The F*ck Is Wrong With My Baby's Head?"

The girls ride the ANTM mobile home post-judging. Whitney muses on how she was in the bottom two AGAIN this go-round. She lets us know that she would have placed a bet that she wouldn't be in the bottom two this time. I'm not gonna buck those odds. She says she plans to go full throttle for the next round. I could almost bet you that she's going home this time, and I'd totally take the pot. Natasha is downing Fitty's SmartWater like they don't have any in Russia. Er, which they probably don't so I'm an insensitive clod. Didn't Communism get brought down in Russia so they could have access to things like fair wages, bologna, free will and SmartWater?

Negative Renee's on the phone with her beach-living husband and the newborn she callously left behind, probably in a dumpster with a note to her Moms to pick it up. I kinda like the gold eye shadow on her. Negative Renee talks about how she needs to be a more sensitive person. I'm shocked that it actually only took six girls telling her that she was a douche to awaken her to this revelation. I mean, the people back home must cower and scurry for cover when NeNe comes round'. Jaslene and her hearing disability comment how Renee seems to have changed. Dionne still isn't buying it and there's a weird moment in the kitchen when that's pretty obvious. Dionne seems to have a lick of sense in her head. I wouldn't trust her either! She's yelled/insulted/tried to mind-eff everyone up in this piece!

Jael reveals a letter that Negative Renee wrote her, apologizing for her bull. And telling her that her new "super secret model self" name is "Epiphany" because she's realized so many things. Ok, that part didn't happen. Jael seems slightly amused by this missive, and hangs it up. I sense she's not buying it, just like she knows better when the coke dealer tries to sell her that's obviously cut with talcum powder. Jael says she knows Renee's an actress, but it doesn't mean she doesn't mean it. Tread carefully, Natasha Lyonne.

More of America's Next Top Model Cycle 8 after the jump.

Written by J. Harvey

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