Jean-Claude Van Damme get all the ladies

Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in “JCVD.” I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.

OK —
It was like being naked—I would love to be naked in front of you.

Well, I —
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.

So you’ve no regrets at all?
Believe me—I’ve done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I don’t regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?

Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?

I’m 22.
Oh, f–––. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?

I don’t know. When is it?
I don’t know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?

Uh —
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.

You could actually hear Jean-Claude salivate and his pants tighten when Sarah said she was 22. I think Sarah should do it. You only live once and who hasn’t wanted to fend off creepy, sexual advances and be inappropriately fondled at a premiere by Jean-Claude Van Damme?

By the way, I’m putting up that JCVD dancing boner video again. It goes really well with this post.

[Image via Splash News]

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