For Unto Us A Republican Child Is Born - Bristol Palin Gives Birth

Celebrity Babies of 2008!
The pressure from her pent up Republican vagina launched the baby out of Bristol’s baby maker, through the window, and into a Russian missile silo that she could see from her house.

Somewhere in an Alaskan manger Bristol Palin has delivered a son to save all the Republicans from the evil black Democrats in 2039.

Bristol and her fiance are well ahead of everyone else in high school, she’s only 18 and has a man whose a recovering drug addict, a baby, and half of the nation’s eyes on her. Tripp Mitchell Johnston was born in the early am this past Saturday (he missed his Christmas arrival date by two days) coming in at a healthy 7 lb., 7 oz.

“We think it’s wonderful,” said Colleen Jones, the sister of Bristol’s grandmother Sally Heath, who confirmed the news. “The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited.”

Riffles are not baby toys.

Published 12/29/08 by

laragmag 40 laragmag

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