D.C. Shuffle - Meet the Also-Rans: The 'Just Makes Sense' Candidate

CAMPAIGN LACKS TEETH MooreRadar asks: Why should the race for our country's highest office be dominated by stage-managed mainstream candidates? Get to know the underdogs in the '08 presidential race—genuine mavericks without massive campaign coffers, high-paid strategists, or insurance plans that cover mental health.

Most political professionals would advise against brandishing your missing front teeth in your campaign picture. They would also not counsel in favor of an on-stage appearance in your wheelchair wearing nothing but mismatched high-tops and yellow socks and growling "like Chewbacca" while a naked chick grinds on your junk.

But Frank Moore, a Berkeley, California, erotic performance artist and founder of the "Just Makes Sense Party" isn't your average candidate. Moore, who has cerebral palsy, has overcome his physical disabilities to become known as the "Stephen Hawkins [sic] of performance art." His liberal platform includes legalizing drugs, bringing the troops home from Iraq immediately, and giving every American citizen $1,000 a month. Payable in tip-friendly dollar bill increments, surely.

OTHER ALSO-RANS
• Neo-Nazi John Taylor Bowles
• Jonathon The Impaler
• Michael Jesus Archangel

Published 5/10/07 by


Fresh Intelligence

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