Paris Hilton: Razor Wire, Attack Dogs, And Sniper Towers Minor Obstacles To Scoring A Photo Of Prisoner Paris

Paris Hilton: Razor Wire, Attack Dogs, And Sniper Towers Minor Obstacles To Scoring A Photo Of Prisoner Paris
As we mentioned yesterday, parole-violator Paris Hilton's sentence will require her to serve a minimum of 23 days of her 45 day sentence, because "the state allows time off for good behavior." She'll call Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood home during that time, where she'll serve her sentence away from the general prison population, in one of the 12 two-person cells in Lynwood's special needs housing unit, where "police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates" are kept. And despite some strong admonitions from the Sheriff's Department, leading paparazzi outfits are already calculating how to get their hands on the orange-jumpsuited money-shot:

"This is not an e-ticket ride at Disneyland. This is a serious matter," [Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve] Whitmore said. "Anyone who takes advantage of this situation will face appropriate consequences."
"People will try to get the photo any way they can. Wardens, guards, anyone working inside will most probably get the photo," [Frank Griffin, co-owner of the Bauer-Griffin photo agency] said. "Paris finding Jesus in a fetal position with a half-eaten bologna sandwich would probably get $200,000."

Maybe it would fetch $500,000 "if you could see the tears," he said.



It's difficult to think of our native daughter's hopelessness and misery being traded like a hard commodity, with every salty droplet running down her cheek registering an additional $100,000 ka-ching. Still, the news that the ordeal could be over in a mere 23 days--so as long as Hilton refrains from stabbing any of her high-profile cellmates with a shiv fashioned from a stiletto heel that impressively managed to avoid detection during a thorough intake cavity search--is enough to give us all something to cling to in the difficult days leading up to her incarceration.
Published 5/17/07 by


Defamer

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