On Thursday the humor site reported that Twitter co-founder and CEO Evan Williams had finally announced the popular microblogging site's long-awaited business model.
Briggs wrote:
Williams stressed that free accounts will still be available to all users, and that only those wanting more services would pay. Premium accounts will come in four tiers: Sparrow, Dove, Owl and Eagle.
The details of the accounts are as follows:
• Sparrow ($5/month) – Users get 145 character limit, 5 extra random followers.
• Dove ($15/month) – Users get 160 character limit, 25 extra random followers, 1 random celebrity follower, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” T-shirt.
• Owl ($50/month) – Users get 250 character limit, 100 extra random followers, 2 random celebrity followers, 30 minutes on recommended list, auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” hoodie.
• Eagle ($250/month) – Users get 500 character limit, 1000 extra random followers, 3 celebrity followers of their choice, 5 hours on recommended list each month, Twitter Concierge for Tweeting while user is asleep or busy (and more), auto-spell check, “Fail Whale” tuxedo, custom “Fail Whale” page when service is down.
Sound pretty convincing? It gets better:
Users in any tier will be able to purchase an EmbellishTwit add-on for $100/year, which directs tweets to a well-educated offshore employee who will embellish tweets. For example, “Just had a whole wheat bagel and coffee for breakfast,” becomes “Just got in from clubbing all night and Heidi Klum is spreading brie on a baguette just flown in on the Concord for my breakfast.”
Rumors of a even higher level of service the secret “Black” account, which has J. K. Rowling, Stephen King and other famous authors write your tweets have not been confirmed.
Despite it's obvious humor, the fact that Twitter has been in operation for almost 3 years without a hint on how it plans to actually make money, makes it easy to understand how so many users were quick to hop on this hopeful hoax. Personally, I think Evan Williams can learn a thing or two from Briggs' witty but intriguing faux business model. Granted we can live without the "Fail Whale" hoodie and Heidi Klum baguette, but a premium service does sound like a good place to start.
What do you think Tweeters? Follow Blog Hamptons on Twitter and tell us your ideas for the future of the Twitterverse!
Source: Tweeting for Dollars: Hot Hoax
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