Paula Abdul didn’t really break her nose

She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula’s nose didn’t seem swollen,” said our spy.

I bet she was drunk. Might as well suspend her license. She’s always drunk. Shaving her legs? Drunk. Putting on makeup? Drunk. Phone with mom? Drunk. Opening a bottle of beer? Definitely drunk and probably out of Vodka. If she blew into a breathalyzer, it would start beeping and then blow up and the cop’s face would be black with soot and then Paula would go, “Meep. Meep,” and dash away leaving a cloudy outline of her figure.

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