· Dania "The One Who Drove AJ Soprano To Suicide" Ramirez will join Heroes as a series regular. (Hey, she's got mutant experience from X-Men 3.) While her "powers are being kept under wraps," producers are rumored to still be deciding between superhuman Rollerblading skills and the ability to make the world's most delicious sandwiches. [THR]
· The Canadian government quickly surrenders to visiting California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, helpless against his onslaught of tired movie catchphrases meant to communicate the importance of introducing tougher anti-piracy legislation. [Variety]
· Not that you might possibly care, but USA won the cable rights to Pirates 3, completing its acquisition of all three installments of the franchise. [THR]
· Pirate Master (which we actually watched, God help us, confirming our suspicion that it's nothing more than Survivor with an eyepatch and a big boat) is off to a weak start for CBS. None of us are going to make it through the summer TV season alive, we can feel it already. [Variety]
Defamer
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