Traces Of Blow: Report: Tests Could Soon Reveal All The Fun Things In Lindsay Lohan's Bloodstream On Night Of Recent Accident

Just moments ago, internet-based celebrity toxicology-analysis firm TMZ.com exclusively revealed that Lindsay Lohan, whose extended imprisonment at a minimum security Malibu facility has been unfairly overshadowed by an attention-whoring rival's brief, court-ordered vacation in an unfashionable part of town, may have been under the influence of alcohol and drugs during her Memorial Day Weekend joy ride:

According to multiple law enforcement sources, toxicology reports conclude that Lohan, 20, had "nearly twice the legal limit" of alcohol and traces of blow in her bloodstream when she crashed her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible into a curb on Sunset Blvd. around 5:30 AM on May 26.

If "traces of blow" (curiously, the exact technical term used by L.A. County toxicologists) were indeed present in Lohan's bloodstream, there is a perfectly logical explanation for their discovery in the tests: Following a previous, allegedly booze-fueled accident in front of the Ivy, Lohan's handlers had a Cokelyzer-controlled ignition system installed in her Mercedes, guaranteeing that that the vehicle couldn't be started until she'd ingested enough of the narcotic to help counteract the reflex-dulling effects of any tails she'd consumed, which could dangerously hamper her ability to speed away from unimpaired paparazzi pursuers.

Published 6/28/07 by


Defamer

DISCLAIMER: This posting was submitted by a user of the site not from The Insider editorial staff. All users have acknowledged and agreed that the submission of their story and its contents is in compliance with our Terms of Use.