Kara DioGuardi's return to 'American Idol' inspires a protest anthem

News of Kara DioGuardi’s imminent return to American Idol hit the Internet today, and after a few hours of garment-tearing, violent sobbing, and unrepentant carb-consuming, I was able to compose myself long enough to express my feelings in song, to the tune of Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.” (Feel free to click that link if you need musical accompaniment!) And it goes a little somethin’ like this…

They’re bringing Kara back to Idol
I say ‘no, no, no!’
The fourth judge is wack
Come on, what the frak?
You know know know
Ken Warwick tell me why
You want to make your cash-cow die
They’re bringing Kara back to Idol
When she should go go go

I’d rather watch someone who’s able
Not some wench who bangs the table
‘Cause there’s nothing
There’s nothing she can teach me
Since she don’t know from early Aerosmith

I want my Idol fine and dandy
So they’ll also have to kick out Randy

They’re bringing Kara back to Idol
I say ‘no, no, no!’
Please give her the sack
Paula’s stabbed in the back
That’s low low low
Could this news be one big tease?
Never forget ‘No Boundaries’
They’re bringing Kara back to Idol
But she should go go go

More on ‘American Idol’: Paula Abdul: Tread carefully with your ‘Idol’ contract negotiations
Get my Idol updates on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!

Published 7/31/09 by

Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch

DISCLAIMER: This posting was submitted by a user of the site not from The Insider editorial staff. All users have acknowledged and agreed that the submission of their story and its contents is in compliance with our Terms of Use.