Brooke Hogan is a dude. Weekly Rant by Angry Patrick

Brooke Hogan is a dude. Weekly Rant by Angry Patrick
Sooooooooo…..apparently the word on the street is that Brooke Hogan got a boob job. Well, Jeeee-suuuus H. Christ (does the ‘H’ stand for Hossefat? Personally, I am fonder of Horatio.) … but I digress. Where, was I? Oh yeah, Brooke’s boobs: Real or fake? ARE YOU FRICKIN’ KIDDING ME? Her rack is more implanted than Tommy Lee’s deposit of manhood in his skankbank of the week! How could they not be fake when Brooke is a frickin’ MAN? Even the ten estrogen shooters a day she guzzles can’t hide the fact she has a moustache that’s a throwback to Tom Selleck in Magnum PI. (And if you don’t know who that is because you were busy nuzzlin’ your momma’s sweater s when the show was on air then click here )

Do you really expect that Hulk Hogan’s wife could conceive a girl when he probably sprinkled Methyltestosterone on his frickin’ breakfast cereal? Face it, Brooke or Bill or Byron or whatever your real name is, you can shrink wrap yourself in gold lemay and paint your fingernails as pink as you want but we all know that sack on your arm ain’t the only one you got. If Brookenstein somehow cornered me in a bar and used that deep ass, Darth Vader voice to rattle off a few pick up lines that involved jumpin’ off the top rope and the figure four, I swear on my penis’ life that I would would sell my miserable soul for a matrix-style back door to open and save me from that Man-Boy Love Association type workout that Brooke had in mind. Hey Brooke, I guess the good news for you is that after these fifteen minutes of fame are washed up I hear they need a new star for the next Schlongs in Thongs movie. Meanwhile, keep it hangin’….just do it in YOUR neighborhood.

LINKS, if you made it this far.

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Published 7/16/07 by


Fatback and Collards

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