Lisa Niemi on Patrick Swayze: 'I Felt Like He Hasn't Left'

Lisa told Oprah that Patrick was given three months or less to live when he was first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago, but managed to hang on for 22 months. Lisa explained that she only allowed herself to cry one time in front of Patrick, when he was first diagnosed: "When we first had the diagnosis, I cried in front of him. I said, this is the one time I'm going to do this. ... When he looked at me and looked in my eyes, I wanted him to know he was going to be OK, no matter what. ... Both of us had to deal with this illness but he's the one that was going to pay the ultimate price."

When it came to life after death, Lisa said of Patrick, "He also had this very realistic side, where he said I can't be 100 percent sure, but I'm gonna find out."

She said that when he passed away on September 14, he was "very comfortable" and that she was so glad that she was by his side at the end: "I was afraid to leave his side and luckily I was so happy I was there."

And she said that since the death of her husband of 34 years, she still feels him around her, saying, "I could so easily feel every contour of his hand in mine."

In terms of what lessons she has learned from the experience, she told Oprah, "You end up living a lot more in the moment... you realize that we don't have anybody for long and we don't even have our own lives for long."

And when it came to Patrick as a husband and partner, Lisa said, "I've been really blessed to have a man who always believed in me and who thought I was smart and beautiful and good and all these wonderful and I hope I can continue to prove him right, that he was right about me, how about that?"

Published 10/30/09 by