Some joint called L.A. Rag Mag is claiming that mildly-retarded film actress Jessica Alba has herpes. Their source is someone who once worked for Alba's ex-boyfriend Cash Warren - and this assistant says that Cash was constantly sending them out to get Jessica's Valtrex prescription re-filled. In a further twist in the Alba herpes tale, L.A. Rag Mag asserts that Jessica got the disease from -happy N.Y. Yankee Derek Jeter. And since Jeter's roster of female conquests also includes Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey and Vanessa Minnillo, there's a good possibility that one or all of those ladies is also a big financial supporter of GlaxoSmithKline, the company that produces Valtrex.
It sounds to me like this Jeter fellow is a menace to skanks everywhere. For the sake of public safety, I think we should quarantine him. By the sound of it, even Typhoid Mary herself wasn't as big a threat as this randy . Of course, it's up to people like Alba and Biel and Minnillo to learn to practice a little restraint. I mean, I know chicks dig athletes, but come on - say no occasionally, okay girls? It wouldn't kill you. And yes, I know herpes won't kill you either - but it can kill relationships. Even as we speak, Nick Lachey and Justin Timberlake are preparing themselves to have a little talk with their respective girlies - assuming they haven't already had that talk. Hopefully, Vanessa and Jessica are both responsible enough to disclose their full medical histories before entering into sexual relations. Not that it would've mattered to Nick or Justin - they're obviously hot for these kinds of slobbering -broads, for whatever reason. Those guys probably think a little herpes is worth it, when they get to screw chicks they think every guy in the world wants. Such is the mentality of the so-called Alpha Male.
(source)
Crabbie's Hollywood
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