‘Wired Meat Scale Report’

Here she is at Ken Paves’ salon, promoting the September 2007 cover of Seventeen magazine, greeting the winners of the magazine’s’ Back to School Makeover competition and singeing the bejesus out of some poor girls’ hair. I hope that girl is blind because I suspect that even Ken Paves can’t fix whatever Ashlee just did.

I’ve got to admit though….. I don’t hate this look. No, I lie. I hate the fedora. Only the elderly and Jeremy Piven can carry this off. And the black shirt with puffy three-quarter sleeves, screams Lizzy Borden (take this as an early warning, Papa Joe. We all know what Lizzy did to her papi). As for the hair, she needs to burn Ken Paves with that curling wand for making her look like Brett Michaels, circa, Unskinny Bop.

Somehow, though, it works. I don’t know why. As for me, complimenting Ashlee Simpson has left me with a vague metallic taste in my mouth and a sudden need to scrub myself clean with bleach. As much as this pains me, in a giving birth kind of way, I’m going to have to t-bone Ashlee.

Source & Story: Wire Image

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