Put on Your Dancing Shoes, Lindsay!

Put on Your Dancing Shoes, Lindsay!
Just minutes ago, the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office filed their charges against defendant Lindsay Lohan, and there’s not a felony amongst them. Only seven misdemeanors as small as Snow White’s dwarfs. (It’s better to start thinking of these things in childish, fabled terms, considering how ridiculous it’s all become.) As luck would have it, possessing a little coke in LA county ain’t no big thang.

As to why no felony charges were filed, the DA says Lohan’s cocaine traces “were below the .05 grams required by office policy for felony filing.”

But there’s more to the story: In deciding whether to file felony cocaine charges, the D.A. always looks at the person and the circumstances. In Lohan’s case, the fact that she was busted twice in a short period of time actually helped her. It shows someone is struggling with an addiction problem. The fact that each time she was busted, she immediately checked into a rehab facility also helped her case. Also, her age — 21 — and the fact that her upbringing was extremely unstable — also worked in her favor.

Great news, every prisoner in California: As long as you had a ty life prior to committing your crime(s), you’re innocent! So pack your things, and next time you commit some crimes, make sure they’re done in a quick succession, that way it’ll be labeled a “problem” not an “act punishable by law.”

[Source]

Published 8/23/07 by


MollyGood

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