Memoir Vs Memoir: The Scarecrow, The Slug, And The Jell-O: Trump Inspires Rosie To Literary Heights

Fact Checking: Rosie O'Donnell Shocks World By Angrily Complaining About Current Project On Blog
With the flap fact-checking snafu now fully rectified, Rosie O'Donnell's Celebrity Detox is on course for its October 2 publication date, when celebrity memoir aficionados looking for something a little more substantial and less disclaimer-ridden than O.J. Simpson's If I Did It can curl up with a cup of tea and the angry musings of the disgruntled former co-host of The View. Page Six got their hands on a leaked copy, which contained a number of florid quotes about one of her favorite topics--l'affaire Trump:

"I honestly did not anticipate the malice of his response . . . I assumed Donald believed he had money. I did not assume Donald believed he was money. But apparently he does . . . The stuffing of his self spilled out - think of a torn scarecrow, only instead of hay, it's crisp $100 bills blowing through the cornfields."
Trump reminded O'Donnell of "garden slugs . . . I could write one small comment on my blog, and Donald would predictably distend, flowing forth with a torrent of insults . . . Then he'd appear on some talk show looking wrinkled, old and empty, with a Jell-O orange combover. [...]

Trump...has his own tome, "Think Big and Kick Ass," coming out next month [...]

A rep for ABC could not be reached for comment, but someone who read the book said, "This is the work of a deeply disturbed woman, page after page of insane ramblings. Ultimately, it's sad and pathetic."



O'Donnell readers used to the constraints of her blog's angry-haiku structure are in for a treat, as it appears Detox has finally given her the literary wiggle room to fully flesh out her complicated feelings. It's opened the author up to a whole new vocabulary of gay-cinema icons, household mollusks, and popular desserts (the second pejorative use of the jiggly treat today) with which to discredit the real estate and ribeye magnate, whose pedestrian prose tends to rely on far less imaginative language like "fat lesbian" and "kicking ass."
Published 9/10/07 by


Defamer

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