Jessica Simpson Turns into Real Life Blow-Up Doll

It’s easy to think that celebrities are so one-dimensional that those of us in the real world have them all figured out.  But if that’s the case, then what in the heck was up with Jessica “Chicken by the Sea” Simpson this weekend? 

Jessica was photographed (and there are plenty of bizarre-o snaps to choose from, thanks to the paparazzi) posing outside of the Los Angeles nightclub Hyde with her stylist, Ken Paves, and another friend.  In the shots, the pop star flaunts bright orange tresses, similarly orange skin, and heavy eye make-up.  Jess also sported what can only be described as a fish-like open mouth and glassy eyed look for the cameras. Over and over and over again.

In the March issue of Elle magazine, Jessica is quoted as saying, “I want to tell you everything [about her divorce from Nick], but I have to sew my lips together.”  So then, what’s up with leaving your mouth so wide open you could fit a dozen Cheesy Bites in there, Jess?

Thanks to this latest incident, Jessica Simpson is officially more weird than she is dumb.  Actually, maybe we’re being too harsh…she’s now equally as weird as she is dumb. Maybe the former Mrs. Nick Lachey was trying to thwart the photographers hounding her by giving them crappy shots, but in the end it was she who looked crappy.  And strange…and orange…and a little bit like a tranny Jessica Simpson impersonator.  And, trust us, it’s never a good thing to look like your own transvestite impersonator, just ask Cher.