Lindsay Lohan Fails Another Drug Test

The ‘Mean Girls’ star was said to have completed her programme last week but was forced to stay on after testing positive for cocaine. Insiders also alleged she has been drinking alcohol and mixing diet pills with prescription anti-anxiety medication in a bid to get high. A source [said]: “I think she’ll take whatever pills they allow her. It’s obvious to me she’s high because she acts loopy and can’t seem to walk in a straight line!”

Another insider said: “She had a friend sneak vodka in a water bottle into one of the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings she goes to. Everyone wants her to be their friend, so they’ll do anything for her. She smells like booze, and the staff do nothing about it. I asked her if she had any intention of being sober and she looked at me like I was crazy. She’s still doing whatever she wants.”

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan should form some kind of “ you” allegiance. They could go around like superheroes in matching costumes made of cigarette cellophanes and three-inch straws and arrive just in the nick of time to save the day. And by “save the day,” I of course mean, “scream ‘ you’ at people and then high five each other and make out.” Like if a baby was trapped in a burning building, for example. They could stand a safe distance away from the flames and point their fingers and yell, “Hey! Baby! you!” And the doctor trying to save their liver? “ you, you PR patsy!” The judge trying to arrange custody of their children? Yeah, you get the idea. him. everybody. Maybe their capes would be made out of condoms and they’d live in a lair constructed from Boones Farm bottles and tubes of Vagisil. I haven’t quite figured out all the details yet, but their car would definitely be called the “Skeezemobile.” And it would smell like bacon and Britney Spears’ “Curious” and only drive in reverse at 100 miles an hour. I’m already in talks with Marvel Comics.

More of Lindsay and the source of her unnatural color after the jump

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