As of Tuesday, a new message was posted on Montag’s Web site that read: “Just wanted everyone to know that my blog got hacked last night and the hacker(s) posted up FAKE blog post about me admitting to spreading the rumors about the [co-star Lauren Conrad’s] sex tape.” As for finding the culprit behind the posting, [boyfriend Spencer] Pratt seemed ready to bring out the big guns, “Right now they’re trying to track down whose IP [address] it was. We got Jack Bauer on it,” he cracked.
Wince. Did Spencer follow that up with a “Wakka wakka wakka?” and squirt anyone with a plastic boutonnière? Once again, my communal sense of shame has somehow trumped my impotent rage. Like when Ashlee Simpson did that agonizingly horrible I’m-not-lipsycing-hoedown dance on SNL. I wanted to laugh at her humiliation, but my stomach hurt too much to really enjoy it. Because, like George Costanza before me, I can sense the slightest human suffering. And I inevitably internalize it as my own. That’s what all the blind kids down at the orphanage keep telling me, anyway. Just too much heart. Or something with “fart.” I can’t remember. Those sightless bastards swear they can tell when I’ve had fried plantains and eggplant casserole for lunch. It’s easy to see why nobody likes them. Kinda like Spencer Pratt, only with more Braille and crashing into things.
Yeeeah!
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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got married this past weekend! What do you think of Heidi's dress?
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