Learning From Anna Nicole

If you've managed to cultivate the kind of made-for-tabloid movie that was Anna Nicole Smith's life, you have to expect some sort of dramatic conclusion. Maybe not this early in the story, but a dramatic conclusion all the same.

Smith was born Vickie Lynn Hogan in Mexia, Texas. She married at 17, gave birth to her son Daniel at 18, and left her first husband at 19. After stints at Wal-Mart and Red Lobster, Smith took a job as an exotic dancer in Houston, met and married elder billionaire J. Howard Marshall, and was chosen by Hugh Hefner to appear on the cover of Playboy.

The blonde bombshell had officially left her small-town beginnings behind.

But then Marshall died and Smith's roots began to show. She filed for bankruptcy, gained and lost a reported 80 pounds, and became increasingly out of control, slurring her speech and baring her breasts at appearances, all while pursuing Marshall's estate in an endless string of lawsuits.

Last September Smith had a baby girl, who at less than a year is already at the center of her own paternity scandal. Three days after Dannielynn was born, Smith's son Daniel died while visiting his mother and baby sister in the hospital. Two weeks after that, Smith and Dannielynn's alleged father, Howard Stern, held a ill-timed commitment ceremony on a yacht off the coast of the Bahamas.

And four months later we reach our dramatic conclusion.

With so many red flags flying, it's not such a surprise to hear of Smith's passing. What is curious, though, is why stars like Smith melt down in the face of fame, while people like Paris continue to plunder. Hilton has a sort of evil weevil quality to her — she might wobble from time to time, but she'll never really fall down ­— whereas Smith always seemed more like a weathervane, dutifully following the prevailing winds, even when (as is the case with Stern) they were full of so much hot air.

When she was young, Smith always said she wanted to be the next Marilyn Monroe, though we doubt she aspired to share the same tragic and mysterious end.

Let's hope the girl who just moved into Marilyn's old L.A. apartment has learned a thing or two about taking care of herself at Wonderland Center. Because weevil or weathervane, it's ultimately Lindsay's call.