Sean Preston Federline: The Exclusive Interview !

Listen man, let’s get something straight first. We don’t pick our parents. It’s not like I had a choice, ok? A little about myself…well, contrary to that pudgy bottom tabloid queen with pink hair, I’m not slow. I’m as sharp as a tack. I’m from one night of Courvoisier and a few spleefs but don’t let that fool ya. As to how I got into my momma’s womb, I don’t know, but the bed spun so many times I thought I was going to born a compass!

Sean Preston Federline:

I pretty much take care of myself. My Na-Na’s never around either, and my Pa-Paw used to run some hot dog stand near the beach, so he aint around much either. Y’all need to think about it, mommy’s always gone, even if she’s 5 feet from me! I make a “poopoozao” in my diapers and I’m high tailing around looking for an “In The Zone” tour shirt to change into (there’s boxes left over in the garage). Momma’s not the diaper changing type. Matter of fact, if it were up to her, I’d be running around with nothing underneath at all. And speaking of which, for all those who saw mommy’s yoo hoo, no, I didn’t come out of there. I was a C-Section. (Thank god for the little things huh?). They say you have the ultimate respect for your father? Point proven on that one, end of story…

Sean Preston Federline:

Two Vodka-Cranberries and Mommy’s fine. But I’m not sure what she drinks these days.

Sean Preston Federline:

He got SO mad one day when I covered the flat screen tv in his rolling papers. That’s about as upset as I’ve seen him. Aside from the wake and bake, pop’s not a bad dude. But have you seen his other kids? Boy did I get in the right line. As you can tell from my pictures, there’s only one reason mommy likes daddy, and I may look like mommy, but I’m all daddy where it counts! Oh, did I tell you about the time I pissed in his bong? I don’t even think he knows ….

Sean Preston Federline:

happens ya know. We were all doing Sake Bombs for breakfast, and Mommy reached for the beer..next thing you know…BOOM…flat on my back..feet in the air, and mommy screaming, “You made me spill my drink you lil !”. I didn’t even know what a “” was until I saw Mom and Dad making my lil brother. Jayden Jesse James Sutton Belly Button Pierce or whatever they decided to call him after that night of burrito joints….now he, he may be slow. Jury’s still out on that one.