According to Star Magazine:
“Reese and Jake kissed and cuddled together under a blanket in her recliner seat in the back row,” an eyewitness reported.
Three hours into the 12-hour flight, Reese got up and walked to the forward bathroom. “Two minutes later, Jake got up and casually strolled into the same bathroom! I started timing them - they were together for a full 11 minutes!” says the eyewitness.
Jake finally came out alone, and Reese followed three minutes later, the eyewitness adds - “and when they each walked by, it seemed like everyone in their entourage took pains to look away!”
For the rest of the flight, “Jake worked on his laptop, and then he and Reese took a nap side by side.”
All that's missing from this account is a plug for the airline and an Apple iMac logo.
I have absolutely nothing upon which to base my suspicion that this is all just more bogus publicity stunt, save for a gut conviction that neither Reese nor Jake would ever have sex in public, in front of their entourage and 'eyewitnesses' who apparently have Star Magazine on speed-dial. (Well, Jake, maybe, but didn't those rumors involve an alley, some chinese take-out, and a guy?) Nope. No way. And if they did, it wouldn't be together. There is zero sexual energy between those two. ZERO. So I say that this Mile HIgh story was either entirely made-up - i.e. that 'eyewitness' is a Gyllenspoon publicist with a flair for fiction - or fudged - i.e. Jake and Reese were flying together after another staged assignation, and Jake went to the first class washroom for a loud crap and the publicist offered passengers seated nearby director's cut DVD sets of Brokeback Mountain if they swore that they heard humping rather than dumping.
I'm not saying this because I think that Jake's gay - which I do (ever seen those pictures of him with his alleged boyfriend? That's chemistry) - but because, as I said a moment ago, there's about as much sexual chemistry between him and Reese as there was between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley back in the day. Or between Liza Minelli and that creepy Botoxed guy that she married for five minutes. Not that Jake or Reese are in any way creepy - they're cute as buttons - but they are, like, totally asexual together.
I know - I'm a cynical bitch. I think that Brad and Angie are bogus, too, although in that case I think that Brad doesn't realize it. Sad, I know. For Brad, that is. For the rest of us, all this bogus relationship crap keeps the tabloids interesting. What would we read on the can otherwise?
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