Ex-Assistant To Britney Spears Bucks Trend By Caring About Former Boss's Welfare

Ex-Assistant To Britney Spears Bucks Trend By Caring About Former Boss's Welfare
By now you may have seen the pictures from Britney Spears' latest East Coast escapades, during which she made good on her pledge to debut a "new me" in 2007 by choosing to conquer NYC nightlife wearing nothing but a jewel-encrusted mini-necktie and bikini. (She's since returned to our left-coasted shores, where we strongly suspect the clothing-optional party will continue to rage.) One former Spears confidante, however--Felicia Culotta, her nine-year "personal assistant, chaperone, and friend"--can hold her tongue no longer:

"I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding," Culotta wrote in an email to ThatOtherBlog.com. "There's just so much you can do to help a person -- I don't dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself."
Culotta also indicated that some of her attempts at helping Spears haven't been well-received.

"I'm so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say--You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch," she wrote. "I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!"



We only speak a bit of Hick, but Culotta's likening of herself to a kicked old dog who has long since vacated the porch of Britney's intervention resistance is a far more lyrical description than any we could have written, instantly reminding us of that other maxim, "You can lead a horse to water, but it'll probably end up ordering the Cristal, neglecting its two baby colts, and throwing up in the back of limo anyway."

Bonus Link: BestWeekEver.tv noticed that Britney is boldly venturing where Sam Jackson and Alec Baldwin have gone before: Send someone you love a personalized phone message from Britney, then pick up a bottle of Midnight Fantasy, the intoxicating fragrance featuring soft floral top notes, with subtle base notes of KFC Popcorn Chicken and vomit.
Published 2/15/07 by


Defamer

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