Britney Isn’t Easy To Deal With

Britney Spears was unable to attend her court-ordered deposition Wednesday morning due to an illness, a lawyer for Kevin Federline announced.

“I was told of a general [medical] condition, and [Spears] felt she couldn’t attend,” Mark Vincent Kaplan said outside his Los Angeles office.  Spears’s friend Sam Lufti tells People in an e-mail: “She’s sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It’s too much.  A new date was selected, but not revealed. Federline’s attorney indicated he “will pursue” a court sanction against the pop star for failing to show.

I can’t imagine it going well even if she did show up.

Lawyer Guys : Yes Ms. Spears, can you tell us about your relationship with Mr. Federline.  Is there any one reason it didn’t seem to work out?

Britney : Yes ummm, I needa number one anda number three and canya put da big mac inside the double quarter pounder?  like, lika big pounder mac or something like dat? canya, canya, canya?

Lawyer Guys : Uhh, I don’t know what you are talking about Ms. Spears.  This is a deposition where you go under oath and give testimony on your relationship with Mr. Federline and your child rearing methods.  Do you believe you are a good parent Ms. Spears?

Britney : Anda instead of ice cream canya put da chokolate on da fries?  CHOKOLATE!

Lawyer Guys : Well this is going nowhere.  Do you have anything relevant to say on your behalf?

Britney : And super size it please…. (talks to belly - don’t worry belly, iiiiit’s comin’)

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