JLo and Marc Anthony Secret Scientologists

As recently as December, Lopez and Anthony were taking professional business meetings at Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood. Anthony [and] Lopez… invested in the IRS-sanctioned religion thanks to infertility issues. What’s very clear is that Lopez and Anthony’s sudden friendship with chief celebrity Scientologist Tom Cruise is no accident.

Look, if you’re infertile, you’re infertile because God didn’t want you to have babies. You’re probably ugly or ripe with rotten genes and disease or something. Or maybe you just did something bad. I learned in church that barrenness is how God punishes the wicked women. He also makes the sinners gay if he really hates them. Lucky for me, I’m 22 and already have eight kids of my own. And I was blessed with the good looks of Angelina Jolie. Okay, if Angelina gained like forty or fifty pounds and was missing a front tooth. And had a tattoo of a tear underneath her right eye and a neck goiter. Then we’d look just alike. Clearly, I did something right. You just don’t get don’t get on God’s good side for nothing.

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