This Week In Penises: Heidi Klum Wants The World To Know That Seal Measures Up

This Week In Penises: Heidi Klum Wants The World To Know That Seal Measures Up
It is, I suppose, entirely possible that Heidi Klum is using Supermodel Sign Language in the above picture to describe the jumbo hoagie that she had for lunch before hitting the slopes. That is, it would be possible, were it not for the fact that supermodels don't eat hoagies. Also, there's no such thing as Supermodel Sign Language (there is such a thing as Catalogue Model Sign Language - which covers such universally-recognized phrases as hey, look, over there! and aren't the lapels of these satin pyjamas lovely? - but it does not, to the best of my knowledge, have any signs for hoagie, nor do I think it possible that Heidi Klum would be fluent in it.)

So I'm pretty sure that what she's saying to the poor gentleman beside her is: no, really, you must see it, it is THIS big! Bigger than a hoagie! Bigger than a tractor exhaust pipe! And Seal's all like, it's not true; it's cold; I shrivel. It is right now THIS SMALL. And Heidi's all, no, even shrivelled, you are massive! HUGE! And Seal's all, stop, you embarrass me.  And Heidi goes: You ARE. You are HUGE. Show the man! And Seal goes, oh, no, I couldn't, and Heidi goes, YOU MUST. You MUST SHOW YOUR PENIS. It is THIS BIG. And Buddy with the stubble and the shades is all, um, what's that, OVER THERE? Is that a man in a sled and EIGHT FLYING REINDEER?!?!? Then he, like, jumped on a snowboard, and whoosh, is gone, totally, leaving Heidi and Seal to discuss amongst themselves whether or not cold-weather shrinkage really does impact negatively upon an otherwise pipe-length dong.

Published 12/20/07 by

MamaPop 87 MamaPop

DISCLAIMER: This posting was submitted by a user of the site not from The Insider editorial staff. All users have acknowledged and agreed that the submission of their story and its contents is in compliance with our Terms of Use.

Comments (0)