Quickies: Catch of the County

Nobody puts Bill O’Reily in a corner. Especially not Barack Obama’s bitch bodyguard. (Jossip)

Steve Martin eludes Captain Ahab once again. (CelebSlam)

Victoria Beckham, new spokeswoman for Penn tennis balls and day-glo doilies. (The Bastardly)

At least there’s less make up on Mariah Carey’s face than there is on her tits. (UseMyComputer)

That chick taking the facial in the video is NOT Adriana Lima. I watched it five or six times just to make sure. (Celebitchy)

Owen Wilson trades OxyContin for chlorine. (Evil Beet)

You could totally slather Jennifer Aniston’s ass in honey and maraschino cherries. Or broccoli casserole, if you’re not into the whole “ass dessert” thing. (CityRag)

Jordan gets a massive breast reduction. (Seriously? OMG)

Dr. Phil decides to pull the Britney intervention show set to air tomorrow courtesy of 164,978 spittle-flecked emails calling him a exploitative parasite. (ICYDK)

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