Katie Holmes Still Claiming To Have Run New York City Marathon, But We Still Have Our Doubts [Celeb Conspiracies]

Katie Holmes Still Claiming To Have Run New York City Marathon, But We Still Have Our Doubts [Celeb Conspiracies]
Ever since we called shenanigans on Katie Holmes' involvement in the New York City Marathon just over two weeks ago, conspiracy theorists have come out of the woodwork at a rate not seen since Ollie Stone introduced a nation to the ravings of Jim Garrison. As other news organizations started to poke around the highly sensitive hot button issue of marathon integrity, they found the story was a tough nut to crack. Even our nation's most dignified and respected journalistic outlet, US Weekly, was forced to mysteriously removed a blog post that dared to poke around Katie's alleged involvement in the upcoming Boston Marathon. Just when we thought the trail had gone cold, our cause reached its zenith last night when Katie Holmes appeared on The Late Show With David Letterman and addressed the issue that has kept millions of earth humans on the edge of their seats.

A few important things to note. One, Dave really went easy on her. He never really addressed the burgeoning conspiracy movement, but that's probably just because he's classier than we are. Still, we think he should've mixed in a probing question like "So, how is it that you were able to wear heels later that night?" Come on Dave, these are the reasons we watch you over Leno.

Two, Joey Potter (whose tragic haircut looks like a bad approximation of Natalie Portman's bob in The Professional), would like to have us believe that she decided to run the marathon in August! That gave her 90 days to get into marathon shape. Hmmm, sounds fishy and Dave seems to agree ("Did you go through the full regimen? The 20 mile runs?"). Katie just nods.

Three, we find out that the Kanye West's "Stronger" provided the necessary inspirado for Kate to (allegedly) complete the last six miles of the marathon. We know that Kanye is Tom Cruise endorsed, but why not just go with the "Mission: Impossible" theme?
Published 1/15/08 by


Defamer

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