Voter Indifference May Lead To Oscar Best Picture Win For Write In Candidate 'Fuck it, I don't like any of them'

The field seems to have left a number of academy voters feeling dispirited. One director said he stared at the ballot and considered leaving the best picture category blank. Then he gave Clint a tribute vote. A publicist told us he did not check favorites in a couple of major categories for the first time in his years of voting. "I just said, ' it, I don't like any of 'em,' " he explained. [...]

When it comes to best picture, the publicist says, "These are five movies that will be largely forgotten. Other than maybe The Departed, as a cable staple."

After scanning the uninspiring ballot, the anonymous, disenchanted flack opted instead to slowly rip the pages from his voting booklet, crumple each into a perfect ball, then proceed to chew and swallow them in their entirety. Approximately 32 hours later, he was able to make a far more effective protest statement about the state of cinematic excellence in 2007 than had he merely left a few boxes unchecked and dropped his ballot in the mail.

• None of the Above [Slate]