The White Madonna: They Come To Stare (Update: Eva Longoria’s Knees)

Yesterday, Mail readers were invited to gaze upon Madonna’s shins. Dressed in knee-length jogging bottoms – who the hell does she think she is!? – Madonna was walking from her home to her gym in full daylight.

Today the Mail looks at those shins once more. The shins are “exceptionally pale” - “one of which appeared to have a mysterious groove running down it.”

Readers can see a red arrow aimed at this “mysterious mark”.

Readers can get the Madonna look by wearing a long ribbed sock, ripping it off at the last moment before stepping out. Non-white readers should keep the sock on.

Happily, Madonna has heard the cries of outrage and the throaty gulps as Britons try to hold down their kebabs and decided to walk no further than 20 yards. This is the distance between her home and the new gym she has had created in an adjacent house.

The Mail notes that “her exercise routine is so regular that crowds have started to gather on the quiet road, waiting for her inevitable appearance”.

They come to stare, to marvel at the white legged lady. They watch in silence…

UPDATE: “Eva Longoria reveals her desperately knobbly knees” - In Today’s Daily Mail

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