Clay Aiken Is Still a Virgin

He may not be as pure as a daisy, but Clay has never experienced the love of a woman….or man. This is a guy who resembles a flashy Oompa-Loompa and scares my children. Hence my lack of a gasp at the news of his absent love life as he nears his 30th birthday.

He candidly told New York Magazine about his lack of sex drive, preference of dogs over humans and lack of time to devote to human contact.

“[Clay] imagines his social life here will be “nonexistent, really. I’m not a nighttime person.” He does not plan on dating, and he is not involved with anyone. “Heck, no,” he says. “My dogs.” He has never had a romantic relationship with anyone, unless you count the girls he took to dances back in high school in Raleigh. “I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate,” he says. “I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire.” But Aiken is 29 years old and he is also a human. Surely he must have needs. Urges. He contemplates this in silence for 20 or 30 seconds. “Ah think maybe I don’t! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?”

I sit in wonderment as to why he could possibly still be a virigin. My guess is one of the three following reasons.

1. Britney is hogging all the sex in the world.
2. Overexposure to cheap foundation has made him impotent.
3. Manimal is the only person to turn him on.

What Others Had to Say:

• Mollygood- “As if the gay rumors weren’t enough, now nobody has hope of scoring with Aiken. Unless, of course, you’re a canine.”
• Dlisted- “Thinking of Gayken doing sexy times makes me want to go to church and knit something. Hey, they should play Gayken videos in High School. The teen pregnancy levels would plummet.”