Oscar’s Real Winners and Losers

We watched last night’s Academy Awards with the same intense scrutiny that we apply to all awards shows.  Namely, with a keen eye toward who’s wearing what and with our finger on the mute button during all those long-winded speeches.

In honor of the Best Picture win by the cop drama The Departed, we hereby deputize ourselves as the Dotspotter Fashion Police.  The following stars have the right to remain silent (in some cases, we’d prefer it), and most importantly they have the right to fire their stylists.

In no particular order, the Fashion Police would like to arrest these actors for their questionable sartorial choices in an awards show role:

- Jessica Biel, for wearing a hideously unflattering pink halter dress that managed to hide both her hot bod and her youth;

- Eva Green, because the Morticia Adams in a fishing net look is so last year;

- Kirsten Dunst, for sewing a feather duster onto her grandmother’s house dress; and

- Penelope Cruz, who’s own home sewing project involved every pink bath rug she could find at her local Target store.

An honorary fashion arrest also goes to Philip Seymour Hoffman for sporting a hairdo that has us hoping that he’s just researching the lifestyle of a homeless person for an upcoming role.

The Dotspotter Fashion Police also recognizes the good deeds of the celebrity citizenry, however, and bestows the honored Medal of Fashion Honor upon Helen Mirren and Little Miss Sunshine cutie Abigail Breslin.  From both ends of the age spectrum, Madam Queen and the Little Miss showed the other celebs how to look fresh, feminine, and like the true stars they are.

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