Scarlett’s New Tattoo Is Really Lame

Scarlett Johansson arrived at premiere of her new movie “The Other Boleyn Girl” in London yesterday with one of the gayest-looking tattoos I’ve ever seen. And right in the middle of her forearm, too, so there’s no hiding it unless she’s in long-sleeves or maybe a Technicolor Dreamcoat. I suppose it’s better than something trite like a Playboy bunny or a yin-yang, but it’s still pretty ing lame. And then that got me to thinking — what are the lamest tattoos out there? The top ten lamest, to be exact?

TOP TEN LAMEST TATTOOS

10. Any Asian symbols or characters. You might think they stand for some profound Eastern philosophy when they really probably say “Kung Pao Chicken” or “I take it in the ass” in Korean.

9. Grateful Dead dancing bears. What a long, clichéd trip it’s been.

8. The Comedy/Tragedy Masks — comedy for us, tragedy for you

7. Anything with a wolf or predatory cat

6. Yosemite Sam “Back Off!”

5. Thug Life — unless you’re Tupac, you unoriginal bastard

4. Tribal arm bands. Sorry, you’ve now joined the ranks of Nick Lachey. Not cool.

3. Tribal arm band with dream catcher. Even gayer than the original.

2. Portraits of anyone. This goes double for portraits of Jesus with a crown of thorns.

and the number one lamest tattoo out there:

1. Encrypted floor plans for a maximum security prison housing your wrongfully accused brother