Heather Mills won the one-legged gold digging whore lottery today, as divorce proceedings from her three and a half year marriage to Paul McCartney closed with her hobbling away $49 million richer. In a clip you can see here, Mills rambles on about how happy she is, as if somehow she was entitled to this fortune, and lies that the money will be going to charity.
So, yeah... My faith in mankind is pretty much in the ter right now. The only thing that could set the universe right at this point would be an O Henry-esque ironic twist where Heather Mills tripped over her stupid wooden leg doing a gold digging jig and fell into a manhole where giant, mutant sewer gators messily eviscerated her entire lower half. And the only constructive surgery able to put Whorey Dumpty back together again this time would be some revolutionary procedure that came with a price tag of $49 million.
Source: Ironic
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