Yo Spencer, We Hate You

So inquiring minds want to know: Who wouldn’t want to take advice from Spencer?

He goes on to address the haters, the mother-daughter bond and a bed-wetting problem. All his words of wisdom after the jump.

YO SPENCER! I just started dating this guy who I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?

Wow! This is a situation you do not want to find yourself in. I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy. Regardless, if the guy’s really, really, really cool, he might understand. But I wouldn’t count on it. Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you’ve ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it’ll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.

YO SPENCER! I’ve met my girlfriend’s mother once and she really didn’t like me. We’re going to spend the weekend with her whole family and I need to win her over. What can I do to charm her?

The mother–daughter relationship is the tightest bond in history. You got beef with the mom, you got beef with the daughter. I would definitely say that when I first met Heidi’s mother, she wasn’t sure of me. I wasn’t on my game plan. If I could’ve done it over, I would’ve bought her mom chocolate and flowers. You need to be on your best game in terms of manners, language. Bring the saint inside of you out. Treat her daughter like a princess&mda’s only for a weekend.

YO SPENCER! How do you deal with weak people and haters?

With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don’t need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people. Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don’t hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I’m like, ‘Thanks, I get it, I’m an idiot,’ and they’re like, ‘Woo! He’s an idiot! He’s so cool!’ I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night.

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