Dr Pepper Tastes Like Axl Rose And Chinese Democracy

A drink that tastes like a brothel keepers’ innersole and the lead singer of Guns N’ Roses, whose name is an anagram for Oral Sex are united in a marketing workers reverie:

Says Dr Pepper: “It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s question for the perfect album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr Pepper for the ears” because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.”

Dr Pepper for the ears may be preferable to Dr Pepper for the mouth. It’s the drink the Dr Pepper marketing division admits sounds better than it tastes.

The plan is that Dr Pepper will give a can of drink to “everyone in America” (excluding ex-Guns members Slash and Buckethead) if Chinese Democracy arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.

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