All Aboard The Scientology Cruise, Where Cancer And Purity Go Hand In Hand [Scientology]

Finally, an explanation for just about everything we find wonky about Scientologists: they've been inhaling toxic asbestos for forty years! Let's start at the beginning, shall we? Earlier this week, Radar reported that Freewinds, the religion's massive disco-equipped cruise vessel used to train members seeking OT-VIII levels of purity and general awesomeness, may be laced with cancer-causing asbestos on its walls. Their story, based on a local St. Martin newspaper article, prompted a stern denial message from a Scientology spokeswoman who claimed Radar's report was "offensive and just plain wrong," and confirmation that the ship would embark on its next fun-filled Caribbean cruise on May 8th, cheduled. But a newly uncovered phone call (audio after the jump) reveals that the CruiseMobile isn't quite looking at clear skies ahead.

As we can hear in the phone call reportedly placed by what sounds like a muckraker to the Freewinds HQ, an operator tells the potential cancer patient that the trip has been postponed, due to what we think he describes as a "refit." The operator continues, "It's not only a refit, it's basically a brand new ship that's being made." When the caller asks when he can expect to set sea, he's given the vague "we don't have a date" response. A brand new ship? And yet, there were no problems whatsoever with the original? We can think of at least one: whatever toxins were streaming from the Freewinds' walls caused Tom Cruise to dry hump and scream-sing his big head off. That, Scientology spokeswoman, is a problem in itself.

[Photo credit: Just Jared]
Published 5/2/08 by

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