Lindsay Lohan adds hussy and thief to failing resume

Masha Markova (a student with a wicked James Bond spy name) has accused our Lindsay Lohan of stealing a 5000 pound mink coat.  Masha is asking for 10,000 in damages:

“Masha Markova, 22, believed she had forever lost the prized jacket - a gift from her grandmother - while attending a private birthday party at 1Oak in the Meatpacking District in the early-morning hours of Jan. 26. She added that at one point, she was seated next to Lohan, and recalled putting the mink in a common bin with other jackets. It was gone when she prepared to leave 1Oak after an hour, Markova said.
Two weeks later, Markova flipped through the Feb. 11 edition of OK! Magazine and couldn't believe her eyes - Lohan was photographed the night of Jan. 26 wearing the very same fur coat.” New York Post.

God don’t you just hate it when you go to a private luxury party and you sit next to a washed up young starlet who ends up stealing your mink jacket? And then after that you find out that the valet flew over the wrong private jet so you had to wait another 2 minutes for him to return it and bring you the one that matched your shoes?  If I had a penny for every time that had happened to me--well I wouldn’t be opening up schools in Afghanistan or Africa, that’s for sure.  If anything Lindsay did that girl a favor.  The coat is heinous.

In other Lindsay news, her and Joel Madden got a little too close for comfort at the Hornitos’ Cinco de Mayo party last night. What makes it better is that he announced today that he no intention of marrying Nicole Richie and that he would rather focus on their daughter. BURN!

 And yes believe it or not Joel Madden gets invited to parties.  He’s like the token douche at every cool party. He’s there to balance the coolness out so that you  can have someone to avoid all night yet bring him up in conversations going nowhere to ease the tension. For example:

Party goer 1”…hey, so…how do you know the hostess?”
Party goer 2”…um..we work together.You?”
Party goer 1”oh? Cool cool.  Yeah we went to school together”
Party goer 2”Oh that’s cool….**pause**”
Party goer 1”**pause**…oh man see that guy over there? He’s so annoying! You know what he said?”

And before you know it, those two are drinking away and enjoying some laughs together. 

Wow I really need to get out more.

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