It's Official: Mike Myers and Rest of 'Love Guru' Principals Doomed to 1,000 Years in Hell [Holy War]

Joining in this campaign is the Spiritual Science Research Foundation, whose editor Sean Clarke has outlined the spiritual consequence for being associated in the movie. Based on an afterlife demerit point system, those involved with making the movie can anticipate residence in the second region of hell for 1,000 years. Watching it for entertainment would carry its share of consequences, too.

As baffled others are quick to point out, anti-Love Guru spearhead Rajan Zed has not yet seen the movie, though Paramount reportedly promised him an early preview that he pledged to take advantage of. Still, we are deeply troubled by the 1,000 years of damnation facing beloved figures like Myers, Alba and particularly Verne Troyer, whose one-two punch of Postal and The Love Guru (not to mention his mortifying Surreal Life stint prior to that) seems like a millennium of personal and professional hell no Hindu demerits could possibly outstack.

And anyway, if a real-life love guru can get out of a molestation rap in Texas for $10 million, surely the stars can bargain with someone in this crowd who has some afterlife influence.

• Hating the Love Guru [Eye Weekly]