Just kidding!
...kind of.
I'm not one for spreading the accusatory hate against white women. I'm too prideful to get into the "white-girls-are-stealing-our-men" argument because admitting that there's an influx of lily-skin women holding conventions on how to systematically remove black men from the Ogre-arms of black women is just as silly as believing there really is a Hogwarts just beyond the clouds. C'mon. I go to school with white women. Work with white women. I have white female friends. It isn’t happening’. Heck. I date interracially and I am of multiracial heritage, so it would see a little odd to despise the genes that created me.
Heck! My current boo is Italian. Go figure?!
But, I guess as a single black women talking about this still hits the most primal and uncivilized side of me. My impartiality to this issue is due in part by my experiences with black men who have specifically professed a disdain for black women. My need for a resolve is due to the lack of peace in my life because of this debacle.
But, this *adoring* conversation topic keeps sucking me in no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Tyra just did a show on it. Michael Baisden made me hate myself for even thinking he could discuss this subject without being biased. It's become such a lava-pit in the black community that I am bound to the argument at least once a week, even if I am apathetic to the plight.
This week it was proposed 50-11th time on a message board. The topic went completely incircles like an amused puppy blithely following his own tail. Every time someone brings this matter up, it is always followed with the same myopic opinions expressed by black men:
- Black women are not as domestic as other races
- Black women are not as sexual in the bedroom
- Black women are fat and ugly (Uh-oh! I know the trolls will harp on this one! Well! I edit comments so... JOKES ON YOU!)
- Black women are too successful in the boardroom then want to come home and emasculate their men.
- Black women are gold diggers.
Yet, when black women try to address said issues only ignorant and racially biased comments are allowed, causing black women to look desperate, oppressive, and mean. Most of the black women who this issue really affects are silenced, forced into a corner, and just labeled angry and jealous of White, Asian, and Latin women.
Or, when we got the opinions of real and black men, these don't share the same sentiment as those you see, hear, or read about. Naturally so considering that most of us are social-climbing black women with looks, money, secure and with long hair (or trying to achieve long hair) and the black men who run in our circles probably wouldn't consider interracial dating as a feasible option. These men think that most black men who date interracially:
- Lack pride in their race
- Are not up to the standards of the average black woman
- Unattractive nerds who have to place black women in a corner to help assuage their bruised egos.
- Arrogant and obnoxious.
- Are completely obsessed with getting back at "white-y" (whatever that means...)
- Weak-minded and have allowed white mainstream media to influence their close-minded view of beauty
- Were probably breastfed too long and are secretly gay. Yea, thanks dad!
After about seven billion responses, one argument, and two teardrops later, the only thing that was evident was there was no hope for resolution. No one can clearly identify the problem because there is a huge dichotomy in the research subjects.
Even black men don't agree on this subject so how can we find an answer when we can’t even figure out what the problem is. All we ended up achieving was that we looked like bitter black hags for even allowing this topic to see the light of day…again.
What is it going to take for black men and women to discuss this intelligently and respectfully? If Tyra can't do and Oprah won't touch it, where will the answer to this come from? I've searched far and wide on the Internet.
I can't ask black men because the ones I know in person don't give two poo-poos on Rye toast and the few that do care have an equivalent amount of pennies in their bank account as brain cells in their heads.
I understand that black women are not the only ones whoare suffering from this burgeoning desire to know. Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned, but a woman scorned has no fury like white women who just saw her ex with an Asian or Latin girl. (My gosh! Send her ass over to Iraq!)
Why can't we have this conversation without name-calling, fighting, accusations, and wild hypothesis? And why can't there be an open forum about black women who date interracial without daggers being thrown in black women's directions or loud guffaw from black men. Realistically speaking, black men are more in danger of spending nights alone considering the overwhelming leap in mutual love between black women and non-black men in every country.My own family consists of black women and white men.
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