Worst-Dressed Bellies? Top 5 Maternity Wear Mistakes Of Spring/Summer 2008

Disagree with me if you like, but here are my picks for worst-dressed bellies of the last few months: 

1. Minnie Driver's Peekaboo Polka Dots:

It's a pretty dress, for sure, and I love the polka dots. But it's see-through. And? I think that maybe, maybe, she is not wearing any underwear. One word: chafing. You pregnant and formerly pregnant ladies know what I'm talking about. I don't care how pretty your dress is: chafing makes you walk funny, and that's not so hot.

2. Gwen Stefani's Sari/Caftan/Bathrobe Thingy:

I'm gonna get disagreement on this one, I know, but still - the Eastern-influenced pajamas slash bedsheet look just doesn't work, in my opinion, on women with massive child-swollen bellies (or anyone, really, but that's another post). This looks like something that Mrs. Roper would wear. Gwen Stefani is a style icon, yes, I know. But just because Gwen Stefani's wearing it doesn't make it attractive.

3. Ashlee Simpson's Goth Preggo Look:

Ugh. I mean, not only is it sloppy-looking, it looks uncomfortable. Is she not sweltering? Does she not get her legs caught in the skirt? And don't get me started on the vomit-colored granny hat. FUG.

4. Jamie Lynn Spears' Sweats and Shorts:

This is basically what I wore throughout my pregnancy, if you substitute the shorts for yoga pants and take the self-esteem-subversive message off of the shirt. It's comfortable, for sure. But that doesn't mean that it's a good look. It's not. But I could forgive it - if only on the basis of its familiarity - were it not for the stupid, self-mocking slogan on the back. Is she being ironic? Does she knew what irony means? The whole thing confuses me.

5. Angelina's Scorpion Tent Dress

This dress just scares me. I mean, that whole tent look, for starters, is just a bit weird looking, especially on a woman with such slender legs, but more than that, it's the print. What are those things? Sinister insect creatures emerging from (or attacking?) some vagina-like plant thingy? Disturbing. Seriously.

Agree? Disagree? Other nominations?

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